Nothing will get you through the day of finding out that your boyfriend might be cheating on you. Not a girls’ night in with chips and chick flicks and not a girls’ night out. Humongous amounts of Ben & Jerry’s have also been tried and tested but to no avail – not to mention the post-traumatic guilt of consuming all those calories! And though classic and much needed, sobs and hugs with your best friend or a shopping spree in Manhattan doesn’t do much good either.
So what should you do next? Throw him out or take him back? Should you get revenge or just let go? Ugh, why do men cheat? In this post we will help you find the answers to all those questions. So sit steady and read on to find out what you should do and what you shouldn’t when trying to cope with the hurt of a cheating boyfriend.
Take some time for yourself
When you first get the whiff of things that might be wrong, it’s best to distance yourself from your boyfriend for a couple of days. Take some time alone – a week, a fortnight, a month if you need to – evaluate your relationship so far and decide what you want out of it.
Make Sure He Actually Cheated!
Are you sure about his infidelity? If not then how can you possibly decide whether you want to end things or not? Are you just going by your gut feeling because you’ve seen the signs of lying and cheating? So let us help you out with that – here’s how you can be sure whether your boyfriend actually cheated.
Get an app to catch cheating boyfriend, like StealthGenie and let the truth unfold. This app will be an online spyware in your boyfriend’s pocket and track all his phone activity – because that’s where all his secret texts and IM conversations, photos with the ‘’other girl’’ and call logs are!
StealthGenie will upload all his texts, Whatsapp, Viber, Skype, iMessage and email conversations along with his photos to your online control panel. You will have solid evidence of his affair and then you can decide if it was just a fling he got carried away with or a full-fledged affair. Find out how to spy on your boyfriend’s phone here!
Relax and Reflect
Then ask yourself: Is he true to you? Does he deserve another chance or not? Are you ready to end things in their current state? If yes, how do you plan to go about it? Give some thought to all these questions and then reach your answers.
But before you burden yourself with those specifics, try to unwind and just take a break from the whole situation by doing some fun, something just for yourself. It could be a vacation with friends, a concert or theater you’ve been meaning to visit or just good old shopping followed by a nice, soothing spa day.
After that, we can guarantee that you’ll be in a much better position to reach your answers without the undercurrent of the bitter girlfriend’s resentful thoughts.
However, Avoid Over thinking…
It’s really that simple. You need to think about yourself and your relationship but you don’t need to think that you could have been responsible for causing your boyfriend to betray you. And unfortunately that is likely if you stretch out your ‘alone time’ too much.
Once you’ve decided upon a confrontation, either for giving him another chance or for winding up the relationship, you have to do it from the strength of your decision, your conviction that whatever you’ve decided is the right thing for you. Read our guide on how to confront a cheating partner here.
Get Mad at Him But Don’t Get Revenge
There’s no need to play the calm and cool girlfriend who takes her boyfriend’s cheating in stride. Hello, hello? He cheated on you, girl! You have every right to be mad at him and let him know that he’s in big trouble.
Nobody expects you to bottle up your feelings and you most certainly shouldn’t be doing that simply because you’re afraid of losing him! Your boyfriend needs to know that you’re not only angry but frustrated and hurt by his bad choices.
However, getting mad at him doesn’t mean you should take a tee and swing at his belongings. The thing about revenge is, you’re all into it and you feel good in the moment of exacting it. But the thrill evaporates almost immediately and you’re left with the guilt of having done something worse than your victim deserved.
Confront But Don’t Avenge
It’s just a sad bit about human nature – wanting to hurt the person who hurt you, a lot more than they did. But it’s really wrong because after it’s done, it’s not always easy to forgive yourself for it and live with all that negativity. Make sure you’re not stuck in that situation.
So what’s the best way out? Have a heated argument with him, let him know it’s not something you make light of but don’t try to get back at him. It’s not worth it and it won’t help you or make anything right.
Don’t Forget, but Do Forgive
You’ve got the solid evidence of your boyfriend’s infidelity so you know what really went on. That means you shouldn’t just forget about it once you’ve forgiven him – whether you’re continuing your relationship or saying good bye.
Why? Because he needs to know that he made some big mistakes and although you might have forgiven him and you’re giving him another chance, it doesn’t mean that you’re okay with his wrong choices and he could possibly deviate again and be forgiven.
If you’re sure he cheated, thanks to the cheating boyfriend apps but you decide that it was an impulsive wrong choice and he deserves a second chance, forgiveness is integral. You cannot rebuild your relationship or being to trust him again if you don’t forgive him first.
Don’t Cling to the Past
Furthermore, bringing up his betrayal and hurling those accusations at him in every other argument later on will NOT allow your relationship to progress, so forgiveness is very important.
Even if you’ve decided to part ways, knowing that your relationship is just not worth all that effort do forgive him before ending things. Holding onto the anger and the grudge won’t help you. It will only make it difficult for you to fully enjoy your future relationships or build trust in them.
Plus, if he’s going to be a part of your social circle in future, it will make things super awkward for both of you if you’re carrying that grudge around him. So if you’re letting him go, then you’ve got to mean it. That’s only way you can really survive infidelity.
We don’t believe in “once a cheater, always a cheater”. People change all the time. So if you’re worried your boyfriend might be getting the hots for another girl, get the cheating boyfriend spy app and be clear about the truth.
If he really is cheating, space out yourself, evaluate your relationship and then make your decision. But remember, revenge is a NO, NO! and forgiveness is a definite YES! Whether you’re taking him back or letting him go.
We hope the lows of your relationship resolve soon and you can have a great time again!